ANDY HARRIS THRILLED TO CUT MONEY HEADED FOR MD 1ST DISTRICT

(Dissociated Press) "Now, At last, We Are Getting Somewhere!!"




So ran the headline of a Release given to a Dissociated Press reporter on April 12, 2011. 


Personally handing out the release, Harris explained that, in a cost-saving gesture, there would be only one copy of the press release available. Harris asked if the Dissociated Press reporter would share the document with other interested reporters.


Sure.


The statement reads in toto:


"Your Congressman, Andrew Harris, MD-1, is proud to announce that funds intended for use in the District will be withheld."


"As a doctor (a gas passer, in case you have forgotten) I am especially proud to support a $504 million reduction in the Women, Infants and Children Nutrition Program."


"We on the Tea Party side have been shouting about the absurdity of spending tax dollars on nutrition for poor children and infants."


"Think about it! This will also solve obesity in kids, too - at least the poor ones." 


"The rich kids can work it off at Brick Boodies or some place. We in the Congress need to see to it that poor kids eat a lot less." 


"Now, with the kids out of the way, it will be easy to continue funding corporate farm subsidies in the Midwest and oil exploration allocations in the Gulf or wherever." 


"Oh, and we cut the EPA by $1.6 billion!" 


"And Homeland Security will lose $226 million!"


"We capped the TSA work force and cut FEMA first responder money by $786 million."


"And that's not all, folks."


"Community health centers are going to lose $600 million, and disease-prevention funding is cut by a billion dollars."


"As a doctor, I could not be more proud!"


"Think about it this way. If we don't identify diseases, we don't need to provide money to treat them. It's like the diseases don't even exist!" 


"All this means a lot of First District and Maryland jobs have just blown up! I could not be happier!"


"After defunding nutrition programs, the cut I am especially proud of is in federal highway money - down by $650 million."


"I just can't wait to travel - hopefully not by car - back to the Eastern Shore and suck up the love for that one."










SOURCE:


Six-month spending bill unveiled: What's cut and what's not - TheHill.com

END

HARRIS: 'I am not here to give a hearing to entitlement types'

(Dissociated Press) Being driven around his district this week, Rep Andy Harris was musing to himself; apparently, he was sitting on his cell phone and inadvertently rang up this reporter. 


Harris said,


"God, posturing is so much easier than actually governing. No one seems to notice - which is a break for me."


"My vote barring the EPA from monitoring air and water and coal mines . . . why did I do that and how did I get away with that? Amazing! All I gotta do is say, my constituents have to take a look at the regs . . . people eat that up like dessert. Not regulating coal mines? Are you kidding me?"


And we passed that without having to actually pass a law - just a little bitty rider to an actual bill."


"This is too sweet!"


"An' I don't even have to be consistent. All I have to do is come up with the lamest sham of a reason and the press goes . . . 'Next!' "


"I said the reason for the anti-EPA vote was that businesses back in my district need time to give input . . . "


". . . on coal mine regs! The last time there was coal in my district was about 100 million years ago, if then."


"The media hotshots don't even ask me to explain stuff . . . like, if input is such a big deal to me, why did I vote to completely defund Planned Parenthood without giving Planned Parenthood a hearing or the women they serve a hearing?"


Well, the truth is . . . poor women don't get a hearing! Not from me. Not when I was in the Maryland senate and certainly not in DC!"


"I am not here to give a hearing to entitlement types. Not yesterday, not today, not ever. . ."
















. . . not ever!"

END 

. . .