HARRIS CALLS FOR END TO HAWAI'I STATEHOOD

(Dissociated Press) March 11, 2011: On the House floor, Representative Coleen Hanabusa denounced as "reckless" proposed GOP cuts to federal emergency preparedness and response. 


With that, Maryland Congressman Andy Harris was out of his seat, pushing his way to the end of the row. 


Hanabusa mentioned the earthquake and tsunami, occurring at that very moment off the east coast of Japan, and added, "Hawaii will be the first state" to come under tsunami threat.


Harris rushed to the well of the House of Representatives.


Grabbing a cigarette from the mouth of Speaker John Boehner, Harris ran up to Representative Hanabusa, lit her little grass skirt on fire and announced,


"I move that statehood for Hawai'i be rescinded!"


"Don't you see? If Hawai'i is not a state, then whatever happens out there in the Pacific Ocean is not our concern." 


"We can and should implement the $400 million in cuts for tsunamis." 


"By the time a big wave get to California, it will be a little bitty wave!" 


"And even if it is still a biggie, it's gonna hit California, which is mostly Mexicans, anyway."


"The national anthem says nothing about islands. . .  At all!"


Harris sang ". . . 'from sea to shining sea. . . .' " and shouted, "That's it! Nothing about islands!"


House staffers rushed forward with fire extinguishers and members of both parties surrounded Harris, with many grabbing at his lapels and reaching for the mike. 


Andy Harris continued shouting, "Dont't you see? If Hawai'i isn't a state, then Obama is not a citizen even if he was born there, which he wasn't! 


"It all fits together!"


As he was led away by the Sargent at Arms, Harris continued to shout:


"It all fits together!"  




































"It all fits together."