(Dissociated Press) Congressman Andy Harris, back in his district during the current recess, called a press conference to announce that he will be proposing legislation requiring that Social Security calculations be in dog years.
"This is to me, the simplest solution," Harris stated. "This approach will break the deadlock in Washington by uniting dog lovers of all stripes, across party lines."
"Look. The GOP House of Representatives just passed the Ryan budget bill, which will remove millions of people from Medicare and give them a state government voucher instead, which is worth lots less than Medicare, right from the git."
"No more Medicare. But what about Social Security? How can we eliminate that?"
"The answer came to me in a cab ride, when I saw a dog whizzing at a hydrant. The dog looked sort-a old, but I realized it wasn't old at all in human years. In dog years, yes, but not in human years."
"What if all employees are measured in dog years and not human years?"
"In dog years, we can extract seven times the deductions we can get in human years."
"Doing this, the Social Security trust fund will see seven times more in employee contributions and we can totally eliminate employer contributions."
"Same thing with Social Security eligibility. No one qualifies for Social Security until they reach 455 year of age."
"It's a win-win. The workers get socked again, just like with our elimination of Medicare and the corporations get another free ride."
"Besides, this helps me with the Tea Party in my district. They think I am really a resident of Pennsylvania. Harrisburg."
SOURCE:
The GOP-controlled House passed a budget which "would end Medicare as an open-ended entitlement for new retirees [. . .] Instead of getting government-paid benefits, retirees could choose a private policy on a newly established Medicare exchange."
[. . . ] "The GOP plan would end the financing partnership between the federal government and the states, replacing it with block grants that give states less money [. . .]."
"Tax cuts for corporations and other tax reforms would reduce the overall savings of the plan to $4.4 trillion."
See: House passes GOP budget plan for 2012 - The Washington Post
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