HARRIS COMPARES TEA PARTY TO TALIBAN

(Dissociated Press) Speaking to a group of reporter in his congressional office at 6 AM Saturday morning,  a flushed Andy Harris announced that he was disappointed that his GOP colleagues in the House and Senate had agreed to keep the government open.


"We have missed a real opportunity here to drive home the point that women and women's health is a contradiction in terms."


"The Tea Party and the Taliban have a lot in common, which is a genuine disgust for feisty women."


"It is certainly not enough for me," Harris said, raising his voice,"that we defund abortion services. We have to completely defund organizations that provide health care to poor women."


"We have to be-head these groups!"


"Don't kid yourselves. That's why I came here to Washington." 


"This sort of literal cutting is a lot more important to me than overall reductions in the federal budget, which is why I have already voted to increase federal spending."


"Look at my record." 

"I am a co-sponsor of HB 217, legislation that will amend the Public Health Service Act to prohibit ANY federal family planning assistance."

"That means that women won't be able to get preventive medical care and will have to wait until they are sick and then have to go to an ER." 

"ER visits rather than preventive health care through an insurance plan will cost more money than the government spends now, but so what?"

"The whole point is to demean women."

"That is what I am about." 

"And don't forget my co-sponsorship of HB 358, the Protect Life Act. This bill prohibits federal funds from being used to cover ANY part of the costs of ANY health plan that includes coverage of abortion services."

"Of course, this provision, if we can get it passed into law, will also force women to the nearest ER, after they are too sick to work or take care of their kids - which is great!" 

"I am happy to cut the budget, except of course for subsidies for oil exploration and stuff like that, but I will live with increases in federal expenditures, like ER costs, so long as fewer programs are out there that offer preventive health care for women."

"I was really happy to vote to make rape a legal mode of conception, such as in HB 3, when it was introduced. I will be looking to make other changes in the criminal laws, in the months ahead."

"My message to women? Marry a rich guy, and do what he wants." 

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